Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel

This last week I had my first post-radiation appointment with my oncologist. She’s now responsible for just about all my follow-up care. (Both my surgeon and radiation oncologist are switching hospitals. There’s a new "breast care center" in town and they’re starting it up.) I’ll be seeing the oncologist every three months for the next two years. My next mammogram has already been scheduled for February 27, 2007,which is my father’s birthday. I’m still a part of the weight study so I’ll be recording what I eat and giving them my blood again in October, then March, and September (or something like that).

Beyond that, the systemic treatment for me, in lieu of chemo, is 5 years of Tamoxifen. The oncologist says I should be encouraged that I’m taking Tamoxifen to reduce the risk of recurrence. We’re still working on managing the side effects. I see it as a 5-year breather (I hope) from cancer. At my young age with the invasive type of cancer I had (notice the use of past tense), the odds are that I’ll have it again. I’m hoping Tamoxifen will delay when I have to deal with this again.

For those folks who ask me if there’s still pain. The answer is "yes." We’re now in the world of pain management, which is a great deal psychological. How about we state the obvious, since I need to acknowledge this fact and restate it often to remind myself? Doctors don’t know everything. They’re not magicians. They have no magic wand. And medicine is part science and part art. Remembering this comforts me when my doctors have no way to treat the pain. They continue to say this is "normal." Surgery cut a lot of nerves, interfered with drainage systems, and involved cutting things out. You have to expect some trouble. Usually it goes away in six months to a year. It’s the word "usually" that bothers me.

They are, however, going to treat the swelling and fluid retention-–often called lymphedema-–because fluid that is just hanging around is ripe for infection, which you know is bad if you’re keeping up with the blog and my inability to stomach antibiotics! I start physical therapy Thursday. They’ll use a special kind of massage designed to stimulate the lymph system to drain properly. They also use compression, wraps, and sleeves. It should take 2-6 weeks but it’s possible that I’ll only have a week or two of daily appointments. If NotherFrog can learn how to do the wraps at home, I can spread out my appointments.

I want to put this whole cancer diagnosis in my rear-view mirror, but as you can tell from my upcoming schedule, I can't do that quite yet. Once I have more time to reflect, I'll blog about it. Until then or I have some medical update, my blogging will be less frequent. For those who want more cat photos, that's NotherFrog and I can't speak for him.